 There is a common belief within the memorial
industry that memorials are for the living who survive the death of a loved one.
Certainly, the memorial provides a permanent place for family to connect both emotionally
or spiritually with their loss of a loved one. So, is the memorial for the living, or is
it for the dead, or is it for both? I suggest that it should be for both.
It is true that memorials offer an opportunity to celebrate life and honor a person and to
make a statement about the significance of the person’s life on his or her loved
ones, and their community.
Enjoy Your Memorial While You Are Alive
With personalization, and advanced planning, a memorial is also for those who are able to
enjoy the statement that a memorial can bring to honor one’s own life, in death.
There is great joy and also value to the ego gratification that comes with receiving
honors and awards, and displaying those honors for others to see. If a person wins an
Olympic Gold Medal, that is a major accomplishment, and it seems quite acceptable to use
the tools of marketing that memorialization provides to communicate beyond the grave of
one’s accomplishments.
So, when someone says a memorial is for the living, they are correct, but only partially
so, if they only consider the living to be those who survive after death. The living also
includes those who enjoy great financial or other success and who wish to spend the small
or grand sums, before they die, that may allow others to know of their achievements.
Who was Tom Murphy?
There is a preneed memorial in the Mt. Calvary Cemetery in Topeka, Kansas that asks,
"Who was Tom Murphy?" Mr. Murphy placed his preneed memorial in the cemetery
next to the road for all to see.
Without a doubt, Mr. Murphy enjoys success in the field of financial planning. Regularly,
he runs ads in the Topeka newspaper that ask, "Who is Tom Murphy?"
Thus, the question, asked in the past tense is a tool used by Mr. Murphy to market both
before death and beyond the grave.
The reverse side of the monument answers the question as to "Who was Tom
Murphy?" as Mr. Murphy identifies that he was a husband and father, and he identifies
the names of his wife and ten children.
I had the pleasure of speaking with Mr. Murphy for this article. He admits that he is
receiving good value from his preneed memorial and the ego satisfaction of knowing that
thousands of visitors to the cemetery each year will see his preneed memorial, and many of
those folks will be prospective clients while he is still alive.
"Kilroy Was Here"
Mr. Murphy admitted that he got the idea during World War II when everyplace he went he
would see "Kilroy was here."
He represented New York Life for 35 years, and many folks knew him as a life insurance
salesman. He retired early around 1987, and he wanted folks to know he had changed
careers.
While taking advertising at the University of Nebraska, he again thought of the concept,
and he developed an advertising campaign. His first ad just said, "Who?" with
his photo. His second ad said, "Who is?" His third ad said, "Who is
Tom?" And, his fourth ad said, "Who is Tom Murphy?"
Mr. Murphy has obviously had success with the idea as even his license plate says,
"Tom Who." He joked that he paid for the memorial stone out of his personal
account and the engraving out of his business account. He wanted to prove that advertising
works.
All of his advertising now says, "Who is Tom Murphy?" and includes his photo.
Unique Fonts Can Add Style To The Monument
The use of lettering and the unusual font add to the uniqueness and the distinction of the
preneed memorial. All memorials do not need to be the same.
Memorials Are For The Future Too!
So, my original question related to the purpose of a memorial, and who it is for. My
answer is that it is certainly for the family, friends and those who were affected by the
loss of the person for whom the memorial was built. However, with a wink and a nod, we
also know that it can be for those who have not yet passed away. Remember, "Who was
Tom Murphy?"
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